Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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