Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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