So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
