Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize