Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
