I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
