i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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