so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
