I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
