I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
