once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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