We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?