No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
