so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
