I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
