1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
