I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
it's like iHOP with fire
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
