Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
