Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
