This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
