I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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