I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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