I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
