just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
