so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize