You can't special order awesome
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
