that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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