Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
