So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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