I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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