I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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