Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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