this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
