why didn't you poke me back
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
