I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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