You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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