Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
