you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
