you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
