Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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