your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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