FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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