we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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