My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
