I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
