she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize