I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
