Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
