FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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