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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
