She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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