So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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