We're like a lot better than the average bears
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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