That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They took my balls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
