My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
