Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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