He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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