She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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