found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
